How's it goin' Bob?

Bob was a girl....cat.

No, her owner, Al, was not a fan of Blackadder goes Forth.....he just thought she was a Tom, and called her Bob.

Whilst most cats would roam the suburban landscape at night, she always knew when it would be to her advantage to linger around the house.......just at the point at which we all returned from a night at the pub!

A few of us would always land back at Al's house first, usually me (lightweight) and my brother, Green Man (Tea-boy duties). Flopping down on the old library style leather chair, I would try and coax Bob to come and sit with me. She'd saunter in swishing her tail like a grand seductress....

MC: "hey Bob...come sit with me...purrlease?"
Bob: "I'm just dandy here.....thanks"
MC: "OK Bob, I'm not in the mood to debate with you"
Bob: "Oh alright then...if I must"

She would sit on my lap gently purrrrrrrring....

MC: "Erm...Bob....could you stop doing that please?"
Bob: "Ugh......WHAT NOW?"

She was digging her delicate, but very sharp claws through the fabric of my Jeans

Bob: "God...your never happy are you?"

Bob's ears suddenly prick up.....

Bob: "Oh my god......is that them?"

The boys fall through the door, having detoured to Monty's for a Keema Naan, collapsing on the sofa. You would of thought that I had pliered out her claws...to see the way she flew off my lap......

MC: "But...Bob?!?"
Bob: "It's nothing against you......it's just that your a girl.....and I'm just purrfect.......now the boys are here"
MC: " TART......one whiff of a man"

...and the moral of this tale........don't talk to cats.......they'll just let you down!